Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
