The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
