Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
