Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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