can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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