I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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