FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
