I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
