So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
