barbara walters just said penis...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
