You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
