Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
