Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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