Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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