I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
