True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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