Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
