Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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