are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize