She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
