Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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