Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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