Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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