is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
