What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I need moral support for this bender
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
