doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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