That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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