Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
