Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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