You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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