If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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