College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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