I must be too annoying 4 u.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
