Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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