Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize