we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
