I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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