so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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