Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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