I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
