Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
