sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
