I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize