so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize