3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
