Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
