You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
