we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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