If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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