he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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