Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
