told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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