Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize