she was so not down for the gang bang
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
love makes seman taste better
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
