Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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