Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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