fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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