ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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