how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
