You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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